Monday, March 31

Please get on my body (aka ASOS wishlist)



1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8

As you can see I suffer from a severe case of colour-phobia but you know what, I'll still look fabulous as hell. I'm a very plain girl, I like black and greys. If I'm feeling snazzy, I put on a maroon jumper but then the crazy kinda calms down. But I'm in love with these pieces and I do have the most annoying need to buy it all, but I'm an ~adult~ and can control myself. I hope. But if you feel like buying it for me, I'm up for it! 



Friday, March 28

Time goes by so slowly

If you read that in the tune of Madonna's Hung Up, mental high five to you!

So, I've been a bad blogger. I said I would do updates every 10 days for when Sean and I will see each other again, but I didn't for loads of reasons. But not much have happened any way. Most annoying thing that happened though is that the flight time changed. He's not landing at 14:20 but at 16:20 now. And some people might think "But it's only two hours!", and well, to you person thinking that if any of you actually do:

 



I mean of course I'm over the moon that I'll see him, but I don't really sleep the night before, so it'll be a long day! And for the first time in a while, I'm nervous to see him. I'm excited too. But I'm nervous because we have had a very rough almost 8 months apart. But I'm sure it's just my typical worrying and when I see him, it's like we've never been apart.

But lately, it's like time hasn't passed at all. Since it was like a month left of waiting, days have been crawling by. I wake up early in the morning, despite maybe going to bed at 2, and days just won't pass. I just want him near, you know? I want his comforting hugs when my anxiety takes over, I want him to tell lame jokes so I can laugh and kiss the stupid smirk on his face off. We've been apart for around 220 days, I'm craving the person I love in every single way. 

11 days left. Sigh.


Monday, March 24

Buying clothes and being plus size

So, I'm overweight. I'm actually really overweight. I'm not comfortable sharing exactly what I weigh, but it's not healthy. I'm working on it, I'm trying my best. I've been overweight since I was 2-3 years old and it's always been a problem. But as a child buying clothes wasn't a huge problem. But when I got into my teenage years, I on/off lost and gained weight, I realised what a hell it is being plus size and buying clothing.

And when I finally find things in my size, they're either not really meant for my age group (by that I mean it's meant for women over 30) or they're stupidly expensive. Like I'm talking 300 kr (roughtly £33 or $55) for a simple Jersey dress. I can't afford that. And I refuse to spend so much on something so simple. So I've always stuck to the same things. I've worn the same black dress every day for years. Sometimes I find something else I really like and wear it to death. But my wardrobe is very limited and I - believe it or not - am into a bit of fashion.

I'm a girly girl by heart, I love dressing up and doing my hair and make up. And I'm limited by my size to find even something close to being appropriate for my age. Until I found ASOS curve. I'm not sponsored by any means (even though I wish I was, ASOS HIT ME UP, I LOVE YOOOOU), I'm doing this if there's anyone out there in the same position as me. ASOS curve sells sizes between 18 and 28, which are UK sizing. If you're unsure of what your size is in UK, ASOS have a size guide which you can see HERE.

I was just browsing and saw some things on sale from them, and Sean in the end convinced me to buy them. I was so scared they wouldn't fit, because most things just don't fit. But they came, and I love them. I was so happy I was about to cry, I finally found somewhere cheap'ish with clothes that fits me. And it may seem like a silly thing, but it's honestly so.. So freeing having found a place with things I find pretty, in materials that flatter larger sizes and in so many different styles and colours.

And if you sign up for their email newsletters, they actually have sales every now and then which makes it that bit cheaper to shop. I got an email this afternoon and I "accidentally" bought two items which I will share with you!


 They came to a total of 259 kr (roughly £29/$47) which actually isn't bad. The two former dresses I bought are fantastic quality. They're so soft, so I can only imagine those two being as good quality. If you're fast, I think you can still get some good deals at the sale. Click here to go to the ASOS curve sale section. I'm not sure when it ends, though.

Shipping depends on where you live. I live in Denmark and it took around a week to arrive, which I think is fine. It's a UK based site, so if you live in Europe there'll be no import taxes! Win!

I hope this could help someone out there. I might do an ASOS curve wishlist at some point, because it's packed ;-) Have a lovely Monday!





Saturday, March 22

Terrific and twenty.





I turned 20! (If you didn't know, my birthday is the 18th of March) I'm officially not a moody teenager, but a moody young adult. Who still laughs at farts and is way too fascinated by boobs. I mean, they wobble!!!! I had a lovely day. Some family friends and my dad came over. My grandmother was unfortunately ill so she couldn't come. In the evening mum, brother, dad and I watched films and ate pizza.

I got so many flowers! I love flowers. I'm just not good at keeping them alive, but I do adore them. Tomorrow I'll have guests over again! The rest of the family and some other family friends are popping by. It's honestly a bit anxiety triggering but I'm determined on making it a good day!

I hope you're all doing well. I'm not really too inspired to blog lately. I've just been reading books and not really been with it too much. But I'm trying!


Friday, March 14

Life is too short for bad music









When I was younger I listened to A LOT of music. But slowly I just pushed it away. I got sensitive to a lot of sounds so I just didn't bother. But lately I've been trying to read more and along came the need to listen to music! And these are a few of my current favourites. My music taste isn't exactly interesting to be honest. But I like it ;-)




Wednesday, March 12

Well hello Spring, nice to see you




It's been nice since Friday (7th March) but I've had a bit of a bleh time, but the other day I decided to go for a little stroll with my furry friend. It's been beautifully clear, a nice change from the grey. Even though I like grey. I find it weird how people find it so depressing. It's calming to me. But some sun now and then has never hurt any one.

Oh and can we appreciate my very Spring appropriate outfit? Black on black on black with a bit of grey! I let nature be colourful so I can keep black and (somewhat) boring. I can't wait for the trees to come back to life, and especially the flowers. Spring means good times. Spring means birthdays, longer days, sun, some rainy days here and there (light some candles and snuggle up with a book on a rainy evening is absolutely divine) and it also means some Seanie-Malle time. 

I hope the weather is nice where you are. If not, don't worry, it can't stay bad forever.





Monday, March 10

How to help someone during a panic attack

This is for the people who has people near and dear to them that can suffer from panic/anxiety attacks.

What is a panic/anxiety attack? 

A panic/anxiety attack is an often sudden and overwhelming strike of fear. It can be triggered by many different things, depending on the person. It can be shown through rapid breathing, nausea, urge to faint and/or try and escape the situation, ticks, nervously fiddling with hands and a number of other things. But rapid breathing and the urge to faint or escape the situation are most common. If you want to read a more detailed article about panic attacks, Wikipedia  is a great site to check out.

How can I help?

Disclaimer: This might not work for everybody, I am just speaking out of personal experience and what I've heard from other people also suffering from anxiety and panic attacks.

- Try and take them to somewhere private. It can prevent the person from feeling humiliated afterwards if a lot of other people were present and it gives the person some space during and after the panic attack.
- If they have run away to escape the situation, try and follow them and ask if it's okay you stay with them.
- Make sure they sit down. In case they suddenly feel very sick or something, they'll be a bit more safe sitting down.
- If it's a person you have close, physical touch can be good. Hold their hand, hold around them, something. But only if you know they're okay with it. If you're unsure, try and ask. If they don't respond, simply don't touch them because it could make it worse.
- If they hyper ventilate, help them get back to a normal breathing rhythm. Breathe with them, slowly inhale and exhale, over exaggerate it so they can hear it clearly. If it doesn't help, tell them to slowly inhale and exhale. It's important to help them calm down, because hyperventilation could cause fainting.
- Reassure them that you're there. Keep telling them it's okay to be upset, it's okay, there's nothing wrong with panicking, you're there, you're not leaving, you'll stay until it's all over. If you can, look them in the eyes and keep reassuring them.
- When the person has calmed down enough, please don't go around and tell everyone. If the person wanted people to know what happened, they will say it themselves.

My experience with panic attacks.

I've probably been dealing with anxiety since I was about 14 years old, so it's been a part of my life for a while now. I remember my first panic attack. I had a bad day in school and I was trying to sleep and then my head got filled with bad thoughts and my breathing became funny and everything went black. It was a very scary thing to go through, but I never told any one because I didn't know what it was. I had milder attacks over the next 3 years, but as I started year 10 in school they got very bad and more frequent. I never had attacks around people, I always managed to run away before it happened.

Sean was one of the first people to see me panic. It was scary for both of us, I was humiliated and terrified, and he simply didn't know what to do. Only one other person has seen me have a direct panic attack. It was a friend from my højskole, I had a solo in a singing class and I suddenly just snapped and needed to escape.  Again, I was humiliated because there I was, already scared to be in a new place, on my own for the first time in a long time and trying to make friends.

Physical touch helps me a lot. If it's holding my hand or a hug. Sean has learnt to tell the signs of when I can panic and then what to do. I get ticks when I'm really anxious. I like.. Jerk my head to the side, I scratch my arms or thighs and sometimes look up at the ceiling or generally look away from people. Then Sean takes my hand very softly and calmly asks me to get onto the bed if I'm standing up or at my desk, simply because I can shake violently and potentially hurt myself. Then he hugs me and breathes with me and talks to me. When I calm down I like to listen to his heart and he will still reassure me he's there and I just need to breathe.

I still struggle with them a lot. I get them frequently and they get very painful physically and mentally. During the past half year I sometimes have multiple a day.

Panic attacks and relationships.

Please for the love of everything, let your partner know about these attacks if you suffer from them. Sean knew about them, but I never really talked about it because I was embarrassed and it got really weird and uncomfortable in the start. If you don't know what works for you when you panic, try and build a routine with your partner, but if you do know what works, tell them. If you need to be alone, let them know. If you need to be held close, let them know. It's very important they know about it.

I think that's what I had to say about all this. I hope this could be somewhat useful to someone out there.



Thursday, March 6

These are a few of my favourite thiiiings!







I've been focusing a bit too much on serious things lately and wanted to share with you some of my nearest and dearest people and some of my favourite objects. My mum would kill me for the last picture ;-)



Tuesday, March 4

Growing up and holding on


I turn 20 in two weeks. And I must admit, the thought terrifies me. I don't know how to work taxes out, I'm not into politics - not even a tiny bit, I don't know how you buy a house, I don't know how to work out equations (because that's VERY adult) but I'm pretty good at keeping a budget and sort out my money. And in two bloody weeks I don't belong in the teenage category, I'm a fucking ~young adult~.

I'm sure you all remember getting into the teenage age and having a sudden urge to throw away all your child belongings. Because now you're not 12 any more, you're 13 and that's basically like being an adult, and adults don't like Barbies, action figures or to watch The Lion King! Now it's all about boys, fashion, make up and gossip. Or it was in my case. You weren't cool if you hadn't kissed a boy. At the age of 15 it was weird being a virgin and alcohol and even cigarettes are not unfamiliar by this age. 

We're also asked early on what we want to do with our lives. What we aspire to be. And we actually need to make that decision awfully early because we need to go to the right schools to get into the right education to get to do the right job later in life. And we have to grow up pretty fast in today's world.

And it scares me. My childhood was a bit complicated, so I had to make adult decisions and act grown up in certain situations from when I was 6, but I never let go of the child in me despite feeling like I had to protect my parents or my brother, or doing things like ignoring my own needs and feelings. It scares me that now I'm going into a very strange decade of my life. A decade where people move away from their nest, finish their education, start working the job they've been studying their arses off for, get married and have children.

And it's silly, you're just a year older, nothing major will change the morning you wake up on your birthday, no fairy will appear with a suitcase and business suit and go "Bibbity bobbity boo, you're and adult, do taxes now!!". Is 20 the new mid-mid-and-a-half-life-crisis? Or am I as always overly paranoid? Probably the last bit ;-)

Enough old talk, I have some Disney films to go watch while I hug my teddy bears and eat some Danoninos!


Saturday, March 1

5 blogs I adore


Homesick.nu is run by three Danish women (Camilla Marie, Mette and Tatiana) with a passion for interior design and quirky things for the home. The blog is in Danish, but there's translations at the bottom of posts and it is very picture based. Absolutely in love with their styles and if you're as interior crazy as I am, you'll love this blog.


Myscandinavianhome.blogspot.co.uk (I actually don't know her name/can't see it anywhere *embarrassing*) is run by a London woman in Sweden. She blogs about, guess what, Scandinavian interior and homes! The blog is in English, so for my English readers you can follow a bit more on this one. And again, if you love interior and ESPECIALLY Scandinavian interior, give it a little look, you'll be sucked in like I was ;-)


Sillewho.dk (Sille) is a lovely, sassy, beautiful and intelligent Danish woman who mainly blogs about fashion. She's a very fun personality who's also down to Earth. She blogs in Danish, sometimes with translations. She sometimes touch personal subjects such as anxiety and how her studies are going, so in that way you feel like you get to know her a bit better, instead of just feeling like she's just a beautiful face running a blog.


Essiebutton.com (Estee) is a Canadian beauty blogger who lives in England. She also runs two youtube channels which I adore. (beauty channel and vlog channel which she has with her boyfriend, Aslan) She's a very calm and collected woman with very good and informative reviews on beauty products and things she's currently liking a lot. I always read her reviews and her impressions before I buy something I've been thinking of getting, because I actually trust her opinion.


Vildekaniner.dk (Marie) is a very stylish lady. She has a very specific style and it interests me a lot. She's always trying new things and she's always looking drop dead fecking gorgeous and the pictures. She's also a Danish blogger, but you focus more on the pictures and else it's not that hard to pop on Google Translate.


My little blog book mark folder is extremely long but these are the ones I keep up to date with the most.