Starting school, last kiss and cactus baby

So... I finished my first week at school. Only a hell of a lot left now!!!! It was a lot less scary than I thought it would be. People are so nice and I'm sure a lot of people felt like I did, which was nervous as fucking hell. Luckily I already know the school so it also makes it less scary. I'm also lucky enough to have TWO!!! friends in the school too. Not in my class but still.

Being on my "happy pills" makes a huge difference too. I don't get the need to hide away in the bathroom at breaks, I can easily talk to people, I'm not shy to speak in class. I can even take the bus and train on my own. It has made such a huge difference in my life. I really think I can go through these 3 years without much trouble. I WILL graduate.

I have a hard time WANTING to make friends, but I'm accepting that because it doesn't mean I'm being mean to people or pushing them away, I'm just trying to settle. My main goal is just to finish these 3 years in school so I can move the hell out of here. Is that bad? Nah.

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Sean went back last night. I don't feel well, at all. I cried a lot before he left, but after? Nothing. I feel the tears trying to come out, but it's like my head won't let me.

I fell asleep with a t-shirt he left here, and I even woke up hugging it tight. It's just not the same. I always feel like this after we've been together. I feel hopeless, lonely, needy and whiny. But honestly? I'm fucking allowed. I just had to kiss my boyfriend for the last time. I probably won't see him again until June next year.  Just the thought makes my heart go "FUCK".

But I'll be okay. I'll be fine. We'll be perfectly fine. It's just hard right now. 

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Since I'm feeling pretty shitty, I've decided to make buttons! And is it any surprise I want to do cacti? I think not. I don't have any rough sketches yet or anything, and I'm not really planning on selling anything but if people like it, I MIGHT sell some. I'm thinking cacti, feminist sayings, sexualities, save different animals, shit like that. I'm excited. I can't buy materials until next months but that's fine, I need to focus on school and ye.

 I think I've done enough rambling for now. So I'll go make some lunch for tomorrow and tidy my room to get my mind of things.

How's your day? Tell me about how great your summer was!

Room tour 2015

My current bae: Etsy

Concrete diamonds // Click here

Faux antler jewellery holder // Click here

"Eleven Cats" art work // Click here

Crystal skull planters // Click here

Tina Belcher art // Click here

Personalised iPad stand // Click here

Cactus wet bag // Click here

I'm obsessed with Etsy. Even if it's just for admiring things or get inspiration for jewellery or homeware things! Also gives me ideas to what to look for in charity shop that I can redecorate myself, so it's a great source if you're feeling spendy (that like is all credit to Amelia Liana) or you're just plain bored



                                                 

IKEA bits

Went to IKEA the other day and spent a bit too much money. To my defence, most bits are for when I do up my room, so I can't actually use most of it yet. But still exciting with some new things to freshen up my little kingdom!

Funnily enough, succulents don't suck!

Click HERE to see where the different things are from

Note: Obviously I'm the queen of blogpost titles.

I was brought up partly on a farm. My grandmother and mother always spend a lot of time in their gardens, mum and mormor even have an allotment garden near the train station. Yet none of them passed the fucking green thumb gene to me. I kill flowers in days, even when mum says "Oh I made sure to get you some that last a week or two!"

But lately I've found I can actually keep succulents and cacti alive! I think the thing I enjoy most about them (other than the fact I only water them once or twice a week and I've managed to keep some alive for a YEAR) is the simplicity of these plants. You can get some in different colours but I prefer the green ones. And the variety in shapes is splendid! And I do enjoy a cute pot.

So go get you some non sucky succulents and cacti, if you're absolutely rubbish at plants like I am!