When the honeymoon stage is over....

Artist // Philippa Rice

I know it's crazy, but that stage can actually leave our love filled minds. Suddenly everything goes from cake and sprinkles to day old bread and glitter you can't get out of your fucking hair. But fear not! It doesn't mean the relationship is over, it's a perfectly normal thing. And here's how not to make it into the worst time in your relationship-life!

1. Small things matters.

It can be anything from a post-it note saying "You're the best" to buying them their favourite chocolate bar when you're in the shop any way. It never has to be expensive jewellery, newest video games or a trip around Asia, a simple little thing can make a huge difference.

2. Remember "us time".

A thing a lot of couple can forget is to take time off to each others. And it's not just time to sit down and watch the same TV programme, it's actually spending quality time together. If it's going out to a museum, going bowling, to a resturant, even just a walk, it can do wonders to reconnect.

3. Pick flowers, not fights.

Having been with the same guy for 5 years, it's easy to get annoyed at the small things, and even easier to make it into a huge fight. But if you want to have a future with this person, you need to realise that fighting isn't going to solve anything. Calmly ask your love to put down the toilet seat, go out with the bin or whatever that needs to be done.

4. Give space.

I'm a person who needs space. If it's going for a walk alone, going to the movies with friends or just be left alone in my chair to read a bit, whatever it is, I need it else I will explode. And I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who feels this way. Accepting and being okay with your partner needing space is so important. Never feel like it's a way of being pushed away. Your partner loves you but for fucks sake if you don't give some space you might end up as dinner for the dogs at the kennel.

5. Talk about it, even if you feel silly about it.

A bit similar to 4, but if something is bothering you, tell them. As nice as it would be, your partner isn't a mind reader. Feel a bit insecure because your partner has some good looking friends? Talk about it. Sean and I do this time to time, I feel insecure about something and just need it out of my head because else it'll eat me up. And yes, it's silly, I know, but if you let it build up, it can get 10 times worse. 

Seventy Days

Every 10 days I will update on the process of getting Sean back here to Denmark to spend a few days with me. More for a personal "We can look back on this when we're 80" than anything else.

And the fact that there's still 70 days to go bothers me and seems like an eternity. When you've reached the point of having to "get used to" waiting 8 months to see someone you love because life gets in the way so much, you're pretty done with dealing with this shit. But I have to put on a brave face because everyone is like "But you'll see him soon!" and it should be legal to hit people like that with a sofa, right in the face preferably.

As you may be able to read, my mood is basically as dark as a Disney villain's. Yes I'm happy that I'll see him soon, but these past months have been shit. And it's because everything I'm trying to do is going wrong, and sometimes a relationship just has a rough patch and it needs working on. It needs to be polished back to what it used to be. And you have to be two people to be able to do that. And along with having shit go wrong, a relationship I wasn't sure I could be in and the thought of there being months before I could see him again, you start to doubt if it's ever worth it.

BUT IT IS! Because that's why I'm doing this. To document that relationships are more like relationshit at some points. And if you never fight or disagree, don't think it'll never happen, because it will. But it's so much harder when there's an ocean between us because it's things that can easily be fixed with a hug or an angry game of zombie shooting - where he'll have to let me win because he pissed me off in the first place. But when you're 500 miles apart, I can't get a hug. Or beat his arse in Zombies.

But back to what has been going on.

- Tickets haven't been booked yet. We're still waiting for his job interview answers (I'm doubting I'll ever shop at Coop again because it's been 2 weeks today and they said they would call him 2 weeks ago) to make sure he can get that time off, if he gets the job.

- We've been planning what we're doing for our anniversary, which is exciting. We spend our first anniversary together, and then haven't been able to for the 2nd and 3rd. But this year we will! We're most likely staying at home really. But we'll try and be good cooks and bakers! And play video games. Maybe go for a nice long walk. And of course, present giving. I have many ideas for presents.

- Did I mention I bought him socks so he doesn't have to worry about that? Waiting for those to arrive. As the weirdo I am. And they funnily enough came today! So they are being washed now. 

I think that's it really. I'm sorry for the amount of swear words in this. Okay, I'm not sorry, it's my blog, I kind of expect if you read this you're old enough to handle words like "shit".

It's a date

For the longest time Sean and I did not know exactly when we would see each other again. We have a tradition with spending Easter together, but we didn't have a rough date. But now we do.

8 April

And it is such a fucking relief to finally being able to have a date. It might change to the 9th, but it's a minor change. We have a date. We have a fucking date! You have no idea how much that calmed my little confused heart. Since he went back in August, things have been so rough between us. It's the hardest thing I've ever experienced in a relationship, but we got through it and now we have a date for when we'll see each other and forget all the shit. We'll just be us and I'll have someone there to hold me when anxiety controls me and someone to laugh with and smile with.

The hardest thing about long distance relationships isn't the distance. Not for me. It's not exactly knowing when I'll be able to hug him again or kiss him. 

We haven't booked the flights yet, Sean had a job interview we're both dying to hear back from (FINGERS CROSSED THEY WANT HIM) and then I think we'll book. And then it's one step closer to becoming more real.

I'm sorry this post is boyfriend-boring, but I'm actually not that sorry. By April I haven't seen him for around 7½ months. I deserve to finally feel excited and have something to look forward to. I've already bought him some toothpaste, a toothbrush and some socks because he's bringing as little as possible. And I will be honest. buying stuff for him to use here made me pretty fucking excited. I can't wait to clear drawers and space in the wardrobe so it'll be his room too again.

I'm so excited, I'll stop here. I can't wait. I can't wait to kiss him again. I can't wait to feel a bit happy again.

Sometimes home isn't a place, sometimes home is a person.

FINALLY, FINALLY IT CAME!

My small pieces from home. Aka Sean. I'm beyond happy. I miss him so much, he's such a sweet heart.

And to boost the depressing part: It's been exactly 2 months since he went back to England, and it'll be at least 6 months till I see him again.

Summer