Rant: Postal services, the Tuesday curse and overpriced furniture

The past few weeks have been CRAP. And I'm not even being dramatic. I've been so emotionally drained, I don't sleep, I some days don't eat - others I binge eat -, I don't want to leave my room, I just want to be in bed and be a human burrito.

I ordered a moose pillow pet to Sean, because the moose is one of my favourite animals and I wanted one for over a year. And they couldn't deliver to Denmark so I ordered to him. And he send it off, with a few other bits to cheer me up, because he's the sweetest guy in the world. But it's been 8 days now. The guy said around 3. And every day, when I realise the package won't be in my hands, I have a break down. I'm not kidding. I start crying and get very very upset.

You need to understand something. I suffer from bad anxiety, have done for a few years now. And Sean's scent, calms me down so much it's stupid. He was a gem to hug my pillow pet and hold it close, hoping it would pick up some of his scent. Because it's such a great comfort for me. And if you're in a long distance relationship, you know how fucking amazing it is to smell them again. Feeling like you're close. But since the fucking post cannot fucking just get the package from A to B, I can't have that comfort. And I need some comfort. But noooooo, Royal Mail and Post Danmark wants to fucking torture me. Also, he said it's a big box (moosey is a bit fat) and how the fuck can you loose a fucking huge box.

I'm trying my best to be positive, and hope it's just delays, blabla. But I'm in a permanent shit mood.

Also, ever since Sean went back, Tuesdays have been the worst day of the week for me. I think it's purely mental, because Sean left on a Tuesday and it did hurt a lot having to let him go, knowing I would not see him for another 8 months. So I mostly spend my Tuesdays in bed, crying, and missing him more than anyting.

Yesterday I went shopping with my mum and brother. I'm redoing my room a bit, and needed some stuff. I want a chair next to my desk, to put clothes (which is not dirty but not clean enough to hang in my wardrobe again) and my every day bag on, because having stuff on my floor stresses me AND I have a dog who thinks laying on my clothes is funny. So we went to a charity shop, because I just want an old dining chair or something. And they are bloody expensive, Jesus Christ! Could hardly find anything under £25, and I am not paying that for an old chair. So that failed.

So in conclusion of everything:

Post services SUCK

Tuesdays SUCK
And charity shops are trying to rip you off.

Hope you're having a better week than I am.

Bullshit you shouldn't believe in #1

(I thought of making a little segment basically about things people say that are complete and utter bullshit. It may continue into more parts, but who knows. But this is what I want to rant about.)

I'm a great fan on Tumblr. I love the art I find on there, photography, general funny stuff. But lately, I've been seeing this bullshit.

"No one is going to love you if you don't love yourself"
"Don't expect people to love you if you don't love yourself"
"Love yourself first before you let others love you"
"You can't love others if you don't love yourself"

All of this is bullshit. YES it is good to love yourself, we should all have some kind of love and respect for ourselves and our bodies. But making people believe that because of the relationship we have with ourselves, we don't deserve love. What kind of thing is that to throw in people's faces?

I've had (and still have) a very destructive relationship to myself. It's the aftermath of years of being told everything I do isn't good enough, friends who wasn't the right friends, relationships that were very abusive and horrible. So yes, I hate myself. In every single way.

But what does that have to do with the love, let's say my mother, feels for me? I'm still her daughter. She knows I struggle, she knows I'm my own least favourite person in the world. But she still loves me. I'm not a horrible person because of that. You would NEVER doubt a mother's love for her children. Even if she, herself, has some issues with her own being.

So why make people believe they don't deserve love from others, because they don't love themselves? People struggle enough. I do agree that a person's lack of self esteem can effect a relationship/friendship badly, but it doesn't entirely mean they don't deserve love.

No person deserves more love than the other. So stop shaming people who can't love themselves.