Wednesday, November 27

Bullshit you shouldn't believe in #2



This has bothered me for many years. Especially once where I talked to a friend about something that upset me about a person I had close many years ago, and her response was this sentence. Despite telling her about what happened, this was the only thing she replied with.

And it hurt. Why can I not regret something, just because it once made me smile? I'll tell you a secret. A secret not many know. But I won't go into details, because after all these years it still haunts me. But I was in an abusive relationship. I was 13. And it's a horrible thing to be in, but if you know anything about being in that position, you'll know that they're hard to leave because there's the small good moments, the moments the person does make you smile. Even though it's all a hell.

So why can't I regret it? Regrets are a part of life, and I shouldn't have to deal with opening up to people to get that smacked in my face. People always say they regret drinking too much at a party last night, they regret sleeping with that person they met a week ago, they regret not saying yes to that job offer they got yesterday,  they regret not getting a burger for lunch, they regret not studying harder for that test. But despite the regrets we move on with our lives, a regret doesn't have to stain your head for the rest of your life. But it doesn't mean you shouldn't be allowed to regret something.

And sure you can argue that without that "experience" of being in an abusive relationship, I wouldn't have been where I am today. But it doesn't make it a good thing. It ruined me. It didn't make me stronger in the end, I'm still slowly working on it. So yes it made me smile once. But I regret letting him close to me.

Regret anything you want to, just don't let it rule your trust or life. 


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