Growing up and holding on

I turn 20 in two weeks. And I must admit, the thought terrifies me. I don't know how to work taxes out, I'm not into politics - not even a tiny bit, I don't know how you buy a house, I don't know how to work out equations (because that's VERY adult) but I'm pretty good at keeping a budget and sort out my money. And in two bloody weeks I don't belong in the teenage category, I'm a fucking ~young adult~.

I'm sure you all remember getting into the teenage age and having a sudden urge to throw away all your child belongings. Because now you're not 12 any more, you're 13 and that's basically like being an adult, and adults don't like Barbies, action figures or to watch The Lion King! Now it's all about boys, fashion, make up and gossip. Or it was in my case. You weren't cool if you hadn't kissed a boy. At the age of 15 it was weird being a virgin and alcohol and even cigarettes are not unfamiliar by this age. 

We're also asked early on what we want to do with our lives. What we aspire to be. And we actually need to make that decision awfully early because we need to go to the right schools to get into the right education to get to do the right job later in life. And we have to grow up pretty fast in today's world.

And it scares me. My childhood was a bit complicated, so I had to make adult decisions and act grown up in certain situations from when I was 6, but I never let go of the child in me despite feeling like I had to protect my parents or my brother, or doing things like ignoring my own needs and feelings. It scares me that now I'm going into a very strange decade of my life. A decade where people move away from their nest, finish their education, start working the job they've been studying their arses off for, get married and have children.

And it's silly, you're just a year older, nothing major will change the morning you wake up on your birthday, no fairy will appear with a suitcase and business suit and go "Bibbity bobbity boo, you're and adult, do taxes now!!". Is 20 the new mid-mid-and-a-half-life-crisis? Or am I as always overly paranoid? Probably the last bit ;-)

Enough old talk, I have some Disney films to go watch while I hug my teddy bears and eat some Danoninos!