What is a panic/anxiety attack?
A panic/anxiety attack is an often sudden and overwhelming strike of fear. It can be triggered by many different things, depending on the person. It can be shown through rapid breathing, nausea, urge to faint and/or try and escape the situation, ticks, nervously fiddling with hands and a number of other things. But rapid breathing and the urge to faint or escape the situation are most common. If you want to read a more detailed article about panic attacks, Wikipedia is a great site to check out.
How can I help?
Disclaimer: This might not work for everybody, I am just speaking out of personal experience and what I've heard from other people also suffering from anxiety and panic attacks.
- Try and take them to somewhere private. It can prevent the person from feeling humiliated afterwards if a lot of other people were present and it gives the person some space during and after the panic attack.
- If they have run away to escape the situation, try and follow them and ask if it's okay you stay with them.
- Make sure they sit down. In case they suddenly feel very sick or something, they'll be a bit more safe sitting down.
- If it's a person you have close, physical touch can be good. Hold their hand, hold around them, something. But only if you know they're okay with it. If you're unsure, try and ask. If they don't respond, simply don't touch them because it could make it worse.
- If they hyper ventilate, help them get back to a normal breathing rhythm. Breathe with them, slowly inhale and exhale, over exaggerate it so they can hear it clearly. If it doesn't help, tell them to slowly inhale and exhale. It's important to help them calm down, because hyperventilation could cause fainting.
- Reassure them that you're there. Keep telling them it's okay to be upset, it's okay, there's nothing wrong with panicking, you're there, you're not leaving, you'll stay until it's all over. If you can, look them in the eyes and keep reassuring them.
- When the person has calmed down enough, please don't go around and tell everyone. If the person wanted people to know what happened, they will say it themselves.
My experience with panic attacks.
I've probably been dealing with anxiety since I was about 14 years old, so it's been a part of my life for a while now. I remember my first panic attack. I had a bad day in school and I was trying to sleep and then my head got filled with bad thoughts and my breathing became funny and everything went black. It was a very scary thing to go through, but I never told any one because I didn't know what it was. I had milder attacks over the next 3 years, but as I started year 10 in school they got very bad and more frequent. I never had attacks around people, I always managed to run away before it happened.
Sean was one of the first people to see me panic. It was scary for both of us, I was humiliated and terrified, and he simply didn't know what to do. Only one other person has seen me have a direct panic attack. It was a friend from my højskole, I had a solo in a singing class and I suddenly just snapped and needed to escape. Again, I was humiliated because there I was, already scared to be in a new place, on my own for the first time in a long time and trying to make friends.
Physical touch helps me a lot. If it's holding my hand or a hug. Sean has learnt to tell the signs of when I can panic and then what to do. I get ticks when I'm really anxious. I like.. Jerk my head to the side, I scratch my arms or thighs and sometimes look up at the ceiling or generally look away from people. Then Sean takes my hand very softly and calmly asks me to get onto the bed if I'm standing up or at my desk, simply because I can shake violently and potentially hurt myself. Then he hugs me and breathes with me and talks to me. When I calm down I like to listen to his heart and he will still reassure me he's there and I just need to breathe.
I still struggle with them a lot. I get them frequently and they get very painful physically and mentally. During the past half year I sometimes have multiple a day.
Panic attacks and relationships.
Please for the love of everything, let your partner know about these attacks if you suffer from them. Sean knew about them, but I never really talked about it because I was embarrassed and it got really weird and uncomfortable in the start. If you don't know what works for you when you panic, try and build a routine with your partner, but if you do know what works, tell them. If you need to be alone, let them know. If you need to be held close, let them know. It's very important they know about it.
I think that's what I had to say about all this. I hope this could be somewhat useful to someone out there.
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