My first tattoo

One of my goals this year was to get my first tattoo. I've always been fascinated and interested in this kind of art, and I've always known I wanted quite a few. I'm not a believer in every tattoo has a special meaning, a back story. It can just be the design someone fell in love with, doesn't need more than that. But mine has a bit of a history.

It was hard picking what I wanted. I didn't want something massive for my first one, in case I can't stand the pain, in case I regret the design, stuff like that. I originally thought of getting a moon phases design my brother helped me design, but again, too big for my first time!

So I ended up with a Moomin troll. I was a bit insecure in my pick at first. Was it too childish? Too simple? Too unusual?! But I fell in love with my decision.

Moomins represent all the things I stand for myself. Love, care, adventure, curiosity, friendship, family. It was also important to me that he's reading a book, because books are such a massive part of my life. He's also soft looking, no harsh lines. I'm a very soft person, I have a massive heart, so his softness and cuteness plays a massive part.

I chose to put him on my arm, not because I want to cover my scars, but because I want to decorate them. I have so many scars that it would be impossible to cover them all, and I'm not ashamed or sad about them any more. They make me, me. And my little buddy makes me even happier about myself!

I'm already planning my next tattoos. Can't be soon enough!!!!

Rage Rambles // Why Fat- and Thin shaming aren't close to being the same

In this time and age, we're very concious about out looks, our bodies and how others see us. We've become better (at least in my opinion) to care less what others think, but it will always have some part in the way we dress and/or act. And because of this awareness of needing to look a certain way and dress a certain way, people will always have something to say about YOUR body.

I have been prone to that, worrying tons about what others think of me and how I dress. What others think of MY body. And if you didn't know, I've been heavily overweight my entire life. You can also say I've been fat shamed my entire bloody life. And now I'll explain to you why thin and fat shaming aren't the same.

Thin shaming is horrible, don't get me wrong. No one wants to be judged for the way their body works. It's nobody's business if you "need to gain a few pounds", "you look like an 8 year old boy" or "go eat an extra burger". Fuck them and their unnecessary comments. Bodies are different, metabolism is a bitch and genetics can have a role too.

But this is where fat shaming takes a different route to Horribleville. Being overweight is of course not good for your body or healthy. Especially not as overweight as I am. I am aware of that. 10 different doctors have told me and what feels like the entire world has told me. I know. We know. Us fat people, KNOW. We're well fucking aware thank you. We are NOT promoting being overweight. We are just trying to be accepted as human fucking beings who also live on this Earth.

Also, talking down to us, calling us names and making us feel like horrible human beings will not automatically make us want to lose weight. As someone who's suffered with an eating disorder (over eating IS an eating disorder) it actually just made the overweight problem worse. Or even turning to bulimia or anorexia because of this, the most unhealthy ways of losing weight.

 Fat shaming is industrial. It can prevent you from getting certain jobs, it's annoyingly difficult to find clothes, the physical and verbal harassment is terrible. It also brings a fear to take medication because "Fuck will I gain weight?", which is far from fun because some of us NEED medication to go on with our daily lives. Thin shaming doesn't end up in that. You're not less likely to be hired because you're thin. You're not less likely to find proper clothes because you're thin. You won't be hunted down but twats because you're thin.
People are physically harassed by idiots who think such behaviour HELPS people to lose some weight. I know a woman who was out on her bike when a car with two young males drives by and roll down their windows to yell horrible things at her and forcing her towards the curb of the road, resulting in her falling off her bike and get several injuries.

This isn't uncommon. I've had this happen to me. I'm afraid of walking in certain areas of my town at certain times because I KNOW these young twats will harass me. They'll drive up and down the road just to yell slurs at me. I've had people push me and punch me because I'm fat and they didn't like the way I looked. People have treated me less of a human because I'm fat.

I've experienced being not picked for a musical because of my weight. I'm a great fucking singer and I have charisma, but having to make a big costume just wasn't ideal. I'm going to a meeting at my HF next week about a musical and I'm terrified I won't get picked to do anything because I'm fat and it'll just be "too difficult".

And don't even get me started on the clothing. YES it needs to be made with more material, but put 2 large crap shirts from H&M's worth of material together and bam, probably a size that fits, it doesn't need to cost 5 times more for a basic fucking shirt. I need clothes on my body. Not being able to put clothes on my body won't make me automatically lose weight.

Also, basic big size working out clothes is impossible for me to find. Any basics to be honest. And it's so frustrating. And if they're somewhat cheap, it's old women fashion. Which isn't flattering for me at least.

We are intellignt, amazing, funny, charming, interesting, fantastic, beautiful, dorky, nerdy, everything and anything. We are people, we are humans. Don't treat us any less.

// Rant over