Life isn't just black and white

Please appreciate my little collection of stuffed toys

I've been in a grey haze the past few days. I've cried a lot, been curled up in bed, not motivated an awful lot. I miss Buster, more than I'll ever be able to accept. It's hitting me slowly but surely. Especially when I spend a lot of evenings alone. My mum has been working 50 hours evening the past week and it's harsh being faced with reality all alone. No Sean, no Buster.

I've been reading a lot. I finished Allegiant (last book in the Divergent series, and yes, I cried) and I finished Requiem which is the last in the Delirium series. I've also started painting a bit. I don't paint a lot, not since I finished at Odder. It is very therapeutic.

I try and keep my head above the waters. Sean has been a dream since Buller was put down. He's always been supportive, but I've noticed he takes the extra step to let me know he's there and I'm not alone in this. I'm encouraged by him and the thought of us going to København in mid-June with my mum and grandma. It's the small things that counts.

Also, I'm going to start up therapy again. Anxiety is getting too much. I'm too low function because of it. But there's waiting lists of course, so I don't know much yet. But it'll be dealt with. I have mixed feelings. I think it's always like that with mental illnesses. When you've had it for years, losing it is a scary thought. I don't remember being without it. You get attached to something that's tearing you apart. But I want to be a person again.

I hope you're all doing wonderfully well. Spring is turning into summer very soon. Flowers and trees are coming back, the sky is a bit more blue. It's bringing a bit more happiness into my little heart.

Favourites of March (aka totally just bragging with what I bought/received)

My Mad Fat Diary has definitely been a huge favourite. Season 2 just finished and it was flipping brilliant.

Birthday presents. Don't know where the moon necklace is from but the earrings are from Pieces

Bilka - 20 kr

ASOS curve - Around 130 kr

The Book Depository -  £24

I lost my best friend today. He got ill again and we knew it was time. It was peaceful and I'm glad he's out of pain. Wait for me, baba. Jeg elsker dig.

Well hello Spring, nice to see you

It's been nice since Friday (7th March) but I've had a bit of a bleh time, but the other day I decided to go for a little stroll with my furry friend. It's been beautifully clear, a nice change from the grey. Even though I like grey. I find it weird how people find it so depressing. It's calming to me. But some sun now and then has never hurt any one.

Oh and can we appreciate my very Spring appropriate outfit? Black on black on black with a bit of grey! I let nature be colourful so I can keep black and (somewhat) boring. I can't wait for the trees to come back to life, and especially the flowers. Spring means good times. Spring means birthdays, longer days, sun, some rainy days here and there (light some candles and snuggle up with a book on a rainy evening is absolutely divine) and it also means some Seanie-Malle time. 

I hope the weather is nice where you are. If not, don't worry, it can't stay bad forever.