Hold me, close.

“Calm down, deep breaths”

My body is shivering, but not because it’s cold

There’s a war in my head I can’t control

Sometimes they declare peace

But then they want to fight again.

“Can you hear me? Hush hush, it’ll be fine”

The screams are getting louder and louder

Everything is black, but no one turned out the lights

Every sound gets distant, but no one made me deaf

All senses get weaker, I know I’m losing myself.

“Come on, I know you’re there, you just need to breathe”

They don’t stop, they won’t stop

Screaming, yelling, a thousand voices trapped in my head

Telling me all sorts of bad things

I can’t feel my body, it’s like I’m not there

“Please, calm down”

I can hear my own moan, feel my tense muscles

Someone’s grabbing me, I can feel you

I grab onto you, help me, help me

I can’t force the words out of my mouth, help me

“I’m here, don’t worry, I’m here”

You let go, no, no, don’t let go

DON’T LET GO, DON’T LEAVE ME

There it is again, the warmth, I can feel it

Don’t let me go, please stay

“I’m here! I’m here! Okay, I’m here, I won’t leave!”

I wish they would stop screaming so I could hear you voice

Pull me out of the war zone, I beg you

Am I crying? I feel warmth streaming down my face

Are you crying too, are you as scared as me?

“It’ll be okay, I promise, it’ll be okay, I’m scared too”

I feel lips on my forehead, a hand on my cheek

My head is calming down, I hear your voice

Have you been here all the time?

I still can’t let go, I’m scared

“It’s okay, I won’t move, take your time”

You didn’t leave me, you didn’t let go

The voices were wrong

You stayed, you stayed with me

I love you, and you stayed

“Of course I stayed, I love you. Now rest, it’s been a harsh evening”

You tug my into your chest, I can hear your heart beat

You’re warm and comforting

I’m so tired, it’s like I’ve been fighting dragons and ninjas

Instead I’ve been fighting myself

“I hope you know I’ll never leave. You mean too much to me”

And then I drift into dream land, you tug me in tight

You’re my real life knight

And I’m your messed up princess

We’ll make it through together, in my twisted reality, as long as you hold me, close.