Being insecure and in a relationship

My Mad Fat Diary series 2 episode 2

My Mad Fat Diary is about 16 year old Rae who recently got out of the psychiatric hospital after a suicide attempt. She battles with low self esteem and the scars years of self hatred and harming has left her. She returns home to start up a normal life again and starts hanging out with her old best friend Chloe and her gang. She becomes a part of the gang and feels like she has a place again. She falls in love with a guy in the gang, Finn. But when college starts, she starts to feel like she's not good enough for him. Which is what is inspiring this post.

A lot of people these days are insecure. They are self concious and have no faith in themselves what so ever. We're born into a world where you're not good enough if you're not a small size or you don't get straight As in school or you're not a social butterfly or talented in some way or the other. And this can effect your relationship.

I'm very insecure. SURPRISE!!! Joke aside. I'm far from a size small. I don't get straight As nor am I a social butterfly. But I have a guy who loves me. He's intelligent, he's funny and he is not the type of guy you expect loving a girl like me. But he does. Because you know what?

People love you for who you are. No one can tell anyone who to love. Just like Finn (the guy in the pictures above) is saying to his girlfriend Rae. You shouldn't feel like you don't deserve to be in love with someone or you don't deserve to be someone's friend because of their looks or intelligence or your differences in general.

Once Sean was here and we went to the next big town called Horsens because I had an appointment with my former therapist. We were walking towards my therapist's office - hand in hand as some couples do - when we passed some younger girls who laughed and said "Why on Earth is he with her? He could do better!", and I've gotten a good amount of comments thrown my way in my life time, but that hit me right in the guts. It hit me so hard. I thought to myself "They were right. Why is he with me? Why is he with this stupid mental sick walrus?"

I told Sean and he looked at me and said something like "It's their problem they can't get a boyfriend themselves. I love you. You know that, right?". I said I did, but it honestly hit me so hard.

Don't let ANYONE make you feel bad about who you love and who loves you. You DESERVE to be happy and feel happy. It's THEM who has a problem. Most likely it's pathetic, desperate and lousy people who throws comments like that. It is NOT your fault.

And please talk to your partner or friend about it. Tell them that you feel out of place, like you don't deserve them, let them know, let it out of you. Because if you keep avoiding them because of your insecurities, they'll think they did something wrong and it can end very badly. Just talk to them, open up and they'll understand. If they really love you, they'll comfort you and reassure you that they still love you, because they love who you are and they make you as happy as they make you happy.

You're never not good enough for someone. And if the person you love makes you feel like you're not good enough, they don't deserve you in their life. But else it's none of anyone's business, besides you and them. Please remember that.